Pragmatic Optimist

Often people will argue that if you look at the world optimistically, that you have rose colored glasses, are unrealistic, or otherwise not grounded in reality. They will explain that they are not being pessimistic, but are pragmatic, or realists. In my opinion, viewing the world in this way limits our ability to see the possibilities.
I recently had dinner with a friend I had not seen in many years. We immediately connected, and had a great conversation. When Carrie and I got home Carrie remarked that he looked the same as he had ten years ago, and I remember having the same impression as soon as I saw him walk in. So why is it that some people continue to appear youthful, while we are shocked by how much others have appeared to age?
While we were dining and talking, I remembered what had always made me feel a kinship to this person. He was engaging, truly interested in what we had done and why, and very forthcoming with his own experiences and motivations, but above all else, he was upbeat, and some would say, optimistic. We talked about children, wives, jobs, hobbies, and generally got caught up. You could tell he studiously avoided dwelling on anything negative about the ex, co-workers or others in his life he clearly did not hold in high regard. He was truly happy with the relationships he was building with the women in his life, his wife and daughters and was, dare I say, optimistic about the future. It is my opinion that a positive attitude, an active lifestyle, and choosing partners that are also positive and supportive, is the key to being, and looking youthful.
I’m sure that if one could prove such a theory, this alone would be a compelling reason to approach the world with a sense of optimism. Getting carded well into your thirties, or let’s say, getting invited to the Playboy Mansion solely on your appearance when you were forty are blessings few people would turn down. There is however a simpler and more fundamental reason. As I discussed in my blog on “Scarcity versus Plenty,” we are often limited not by the resources not available to us, but more often by our inability to see what is possible with the resources we already have. Not dwelling on the impossible, and being able to see past it to the often not so obvious possible is what separates the followers from the leaders. With a sense of optimism, you are open to the possibility that there may still be a positive outcome possible, regardless of how bleak the prospects look currently. With a sense of pessimism, you may have already decided that given the current situation, there is no happy ending. Being pragmatic is facing the facts, and then making realistic decisions about how to proceed, which can be done either pessimistically or optimistically. Even if the pessimists are right, at least you were open to the win-win, and can approach the setback with a happier attitude.
I have always said that if you don’t try, you are guaranteed failure, and the answer to something not asked for is almost always no. If you are looking for the possible you cannot become too focused on the impossible.